Chapter 42 (cont.)


Two Skinny


“Once, freshman year, I was walking away from Dickinson, down the path. There were those skinny little trees on my left-hand side. So as I'm walking, I see this guy on a ten-speed (so it had skinny tires, too) that I knew, but I waited for him to get closer before I waved or anything. Well, I guess he was noticing me too, because he CRASHED his skinny little tire right into a skinny little tree! It definitely made my whole day. Maybe even my week! I did stop to see if he was okay, though. Just a bruised ego.”


- Jen M, UD '01


Boobs, Butts & Beyond: Read My Lips


“In 1996 I remember there was some Greek talent competition on East Campus, behind Perkins. This girl I was kinda going out with at the time was performing some sort of dance thing for her Greek organization, so I went to see her perform and say hello to her family. After doing some sort of split or something, me and a lot of other people in the front of the performance area realized that her crotch had somehow been exposed to the entire crowd. Hey now!”


- Keith W, UD '98


Quick Thinking


“I'm on my mountain bike on the way to an 8 AM class and probably about one or two sheets still. (Digger’s Note: That means still kinda drunk from the night before. I didn’t know what it meant either.) I cross South College at around Mitchell Hall, headed to Brown Lab. There's a girl on a bike in front of me, but I'm flying, and I tell her ‘Watch out on your left.’ She veers left. Nice work. We get tangled up, but we're still standing. It's decision time: if we stay tangled, we both go down hard. So I give her a little kick / shove / shiver and manage to get free of her, continuing on my way, as I hear the unmistakable sounds of a pretty good bike crash behind me. Fast forward about ten minutes: I've made it to class, and I'm trying to control the flow of ass-sweat, when in she walks…mangled and gnarled from her spill. I think I hid under my seat for the rest of class.”


- AB, UD '95


Campus Critter: Lesson Learned


“Those f’ing UD squirrels! If you're walking towards one expecting it to run away, I assure you, you will be the one to turn away first. I'll never forget walking in front of the Harrington Computer Center with my roommate. I mistakenly stopped to throw away a gum wrapper in the trashcan. Had I known it was home to a demonic squirrel, I’d have restrained myself. That furry psycho jumped out and tried to eat my face! After my heart stopped briefly, I jumped out of the way and avoided the horrific encounter. F’ing squirrels.”


- Suss, UD '02


Boobs, Butts & Beyond: Burrito-To-Go


“My freshman year I lived in Smyth…the first year it was co-ed! It was during finals/move-out time, so all of Newark was crazy with confused families driving around. We decided to walk all the way to Taco Bell on Kirkwood Highway. We went, ate disgusting food, and then left.


In the parking lot a respectable looking, nondescript but decent muted color sedan with a typical dad pulled up to us with a campus map and waved us over to ask directions. Totally normal. “Dad trying to find his little girl's dorm,” right? WRONG.


We walk over, lean up to his rolled down window, he pulls the map up from his lap and he's bopping his burrito. Really. He speeds away down Kirkwood, before we could really react…my roommate then starts running down Kirkwood Highway yelling, ‘You pervert!’


The best part is how dumb freshman girls are. After such an event, you would think we would be so freaked out we wouldn't want anything to do with men we don't know. But no…we're walking back to Smyth, and some college dudes show up and ask us if they can give us a ride back to campus.  Stranger Danger, right?! Nope. We say, ‘Sure,’ and hop in. Thankfully, no bare burritos were visible in THAT car.”


- EM, UD '98


DelaWeather: Eating Bush


“I refused to walk anywhere at UD. I was by the library one time at night, riding my bike on this brick pathway where a lot of people walk. It's twisty there, and it had been snowing. I suffered a little bit of what automotive people call ‘understeer.’ I slid right into one of those black metal fences, went right over the handle bars, and into a bush.  I was fine, but I managed to have this accident in front of a few girls…so that was a little humiliating.”


- Jeff K, UD '98


Cost / Benefit Analysis


“Once I did the walk of shame straight from a guy’s place to take an Economics test. I was so hung over that I had to go to the bathroom and throw up twice during the test. Another teacher was in the bathroom and asked me if I was okay...I was ‘that girl,’ with my bar clothes, high heels, and make-up smeared from the night before. Definitely got some weird looks. But it was a fun night! Don't think I did too well on the test, though.”


- Lisa, UD '03


DelaWeather: My Name is Mulch


“1992. Riding my mountain bike in the rain, drunk on a Friday from Park Place to Gilbert C, cutting across Harrington Beach and across the stupid sand volleyball court they put in what had been the best end zone. Front tire sticks in the quicksand, up and over, and into the wet, leaf-filled sand pot. Yuk!”


- Brian FF, UD '94


Beefus Maximus


“Freshman year, Spring 1992. Latin 111 class, think it was Graham Hall. The professor was the guy with the big Amish looking beard and glasses that used to walk his dogs around East Campus. I dropped my pencil to the right of my desk by accident. Latin professor was reading verse from the Odyssey or one of the classics, and we were translating on paper. I reached down to grab my pencil and I cut a pretty mean fart. It just erupted from my ass and I had no control.


I looked up after the expulsion, picking up my pencil, and the professor stopped reading and looked up at the class. For some strange reason, my other classmates didn’t turn around (I sat near the back of the room). It is possible they did not want to be blamed. To cover up, I immediately turned around to this guy with a mohawk sitting one desk behind me, who I knew from class and asked him if he got the last sentence as I missed it, therefore ignoring the professor’s stares to the class. My mohawked friend knew exactly what I was up to, and played it off with me. Professor continued his reading and my buddy gave me a lot of shit after class. Fun times and a memory I will never forget. Latin was awesome. Two semesters and my language requirement to graduate was fulfilled. Plus I got to fart in public and get away with it.”


- Dan, UD '95, Glory Days at Delaware, and DelGrads are © 2006 – 2015 the guy who made this site. Website designed by Digger Designs.